108+ Philosophical Sayings By Woody Allen | Free Hd Background Images Download
Here we have got some famous quotes and images with precious and wise words from the famous Woody Allen that you need to know. You may be familiar with these famous sayings by Woody Allen. They were used in many places, and they come from people just like us, who have felt and experienced the same as us. If you read these you may find many similarities with our thoughts, because they went through and observed the same things in life. Where we stand today, they have stood there already. There is nothing to think about anymore. Discover the views of a person who feels the same way we do. Read the most positive quotes and images by Woody Allen that are gathered here from real-life wisdom. These popular quotes by Woody Allen have been picked out for you from hundreds of sayings all over the internet.
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Table of Contents
Favorite Quotes Images By Woody Allen
1. “A comedy, for me, has the quality of being a little dessert, a diversion… The real meat and potatoes are serious films.”
2. “A relationship, I think, is like a dead shark. You know, it has to constantly move forward or it dies, and I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.”
3. “A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.”
4. “Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.”
5. “Better not think too much. Relying more on the body: it is more trustworthy.”
6. “Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.”
7. “Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.”
8. “Comedians have a tendency to have a limited range, they tend to do one thing and do it very well, but it’s limited.”
9. “Comedy films are unlike other films; What’s important in a comedy is the content of the shot, not the shot itself.”
10. “Cynicism is reality with an alternate spelling.”
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11. “Difficult times always create opportunities for you to experience more love in your life.”
12. “Don’t think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really effective way of cutting down your expenses.”
13. “Eighty percent of success is showing up.”
14. “Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.”
15. “Eternity is boring, particular towards the end.”
16. “Existence for eternity could get a little boring… especially towards the end.”
17. “For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.”
18. “Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.”
19. “Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.”
20. “He never made the ten-most-wanted list. It’s very unfair voting. It’s who you know.”
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21. “Humorists always sit at the children’s table.”
22. “I am an only child. I have one sister.”
23. “I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”
24. “I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.”
25. “I am very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.”
26. “I appreciate the chance to visit my mom on Mother’s Day, it’s like taking a refresher course in guilt.”
27. “I believe in God, Miriam. I know it. Because, without God the world is a cesspool.”
28. “I can’t even take a leap of faith to believe in my own existence.”
29. “I don’t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.”
30. “I don’t own a computer. I’ve never seen anything online at all, nothing. I don’t own a word processor. I have none of that stuff. It’s not an act of rebellion. I’m just not a gadget person.”
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31. “I don’t think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.”
32. “I hate reality but it’s still the best place to get a good steak.”
33. “I hate the beach, I hate the sun, I’m pale and I’m a redhead. I don’t tan, I stroke.”
34. “I like to be watched while I clone. The more the merrier, you know. Never, never, never clone alone.”
35. “I never met such a pretty girl, and I guess I’m just sensitive because real, real beauty makes me want to gag.”
36. “I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.”
37. “I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.”
38. “I wanted to be an Olympic swimmer but I had some problems with buoyancy.”
39. “I wanted to collaborate because, you know, I get lonely.”
40. “I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.”
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41. “I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile, women shave on Saturday and most especially never to shave a Gentile woman on Saturday.”
42. “I’m astounded by people who want to ‘know’ the universe when it’s hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.”
43. “I’m not a drinker, my body won’t tolerate… eh… spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.”
44. “I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.”
45. “I’ve always liked, someday the lamb will lay by the lion… but it won’t get much sleep.”
46. “I’ve often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me.”
47. “If my films don’t show a profit, I know I’m doing something right.”
48. “If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.”
49. “If you are not failing now and again, its a sign you are not doing anything very innovative.”
50. “If you aren’t failing, you aren’t trying.”
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51. “If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.”
52. “In California, they don’t throw their garbage away they make it into TV shows.”
53. “In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.”
54. “In times of great stress sometimes ghost appears.”
55. “Is sex dirty? Only if it’s done right.”
56. “Isn’t all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed?”
57. “It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable as one’s hat keeps blowing off.”
58. “Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.”
59. “Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.”
60. “Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering, and it’s all over much too soon.”
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61. “Life is hard for insects. And don’t think mice are having any fun either.”
62. “Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.”
63. “Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.”
64. “Morale still seems reasonably high and, while the desertion rate has risen, it is still limited to those who can walk.”
65. “More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.”
66. “My back is just killing me. I don’t know what I’ve done to it. I’ve had it x-rayed, I’ve been to my chiropractor, I had a shiatsu massage, I’ve been.”
67. “My mother never had time for me. When you’re the middle child in a family of five million, you don’t get any attention.”
68. “My only regret in life is that I’m not someone else.”
69. “My parents are from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the Old World. They’re very stable, down-to-earth people who don’t approve of divorce. Their values in life are God and carpeting.”
70. “My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign.”
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71. “On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.”
72. “People always tease me. They say, look at you, you went for so much psychoanalysis and you’re so neurotic, you wind up marrying a girl so much younger than you.”
73. “Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it’s still the only place where you can get a decent steak.”
74. “Sentence structure is innate but whining is acquired.”
75. “Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.”
76. “Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.”
77. “Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it’s one of the best.”
78. “Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.”
79. “Summing up, it is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o’clock.”
80. “The artist’s job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.”
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81. “The chief problem about death … is the fear that there may be no afterlife, a depressing thought.”
82. “The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.”
83. “The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5’7, it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.”
84. “The heart wants what it wants. There’s no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that’s that.”
85. “The lion and the calf shall lie down together, but the calf won’t get much sleep.”
86. “The only love that lasts is unrequited love.”
87. “The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.”
88. “The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.”
89. “The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don’t have.”
90. “There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.”
Valuable Quotes Images From Woody Allen
91. “There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.”
92. “There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?”
93. “There’s no substitute for a great love who says, ‘No matter what’s wrong with you, you’re welcome at this table.'”
94. “There’s nothing wrong with you that a little Prozac and a polo mallet can’t cure.”
95. “There’s only one kind of love that lasts, unrequited love. It stays with you forever.”
96. “To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.”
97. “Tradition is the illusion of permanence.”
98. “We stand at a crossroads. One path leads to despair, the other to destruction. Let’s hope we make the right choice.”
99. “What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?”
100. “When we lose twenty pounds… we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty.”
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101. “When we played softball, I’d steal second base, feel guilty and go back.”
102. “When you do comedy, you’re not sitting at the grown-up’s table, you’re sitting at the children’s table.”
103. “Where I grew up in Brooklyn, nobody committed suicide. Everyone was too unhappy.”
104. “With comedy, you can buy yourself out of the problems of life and diffuse them. In tragedy, you must confront them and it is painful.”
105. “You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.”
106. “You can’t ride two horses with one behind.”
107. “You know, I don’t think I could take a mellow evening because I, I don’t respond well to mellow. You know what I mean? I have a tendency to, if I get too mellow, I, I ripen and then rot, you know.”
108. “You look up after many years and you find that a film has become a classic because it’s meaningful to people and alive, decade after decade.”
109. “You mellow too much you ripen and rot.”
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Shuvo
Hi there! I Am Shuvo Saha. I am a Musician. I play Bass. Besides that, I love to explore. As in, surf the web, gather knowledge, and share them. Recently, I have discovered that Blogging can be quite a useful way, to share. Being a thoughtful person, and a social being, I find it very amusing to explore people's thoughts, observations, and experiences. Regardless of time, place, situation, event, or occasion, it is in our human nature, to learn and express. Many of these expressions of life, result in taking the form of wishes, quotes, greetings, messages, and captions. I, with my lovely Wishian team, gather the expressions, sort them out, organize them with suitable background images, and serve them to you. So that you can share them back, with the whole world.
