523+ Legendary Sayings From Mark Twain | Free Hd Background Pictures Download

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Table of Contents

Famous Sayings Pictures By Mark Twain

1. “A Washoe wind is by no means a trifling matter. It blows flimsy houses down, lifts shingle roofs occasionally, rolls up tin ones like sheet music, now and then blows a stage-coach over and spills the passengers; and tradition says the reason there are so many bald people there, is, that the wind blows the hair off their heads while they are looking skyward after their hats.”

2. “A baby is an angel whose wings decrease as his legs increase.”

3. “A baby is an inestimable blessing.”

4. “A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”

5. “A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.”

6. “A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.”

7. “A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.”

8. “A conspiracy is nothing but a secret agreement of a number of men for the pursuance of policies which they dare not admit in public.”

9. “A country without a patent office and good patent laws is just a crab, and can’t travel any way but sideways and backways.”

10. “A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes all other forms of law.”

All Kings Is Mostly Rapscallions Quotes Images By Mark Twain
All Kings Is Mostly Rapscallions Quotes Images By Mark Twain

Meaningful Quotes Pictures From Mark Twain

11. “A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to you than the ninety-and-nine which you had to work for, and money won at faro or in stock snuggles into your heart in the same way.”

12. “A few fly bites cannot stop a spirited horse.”

13. “A full belly is little worth where the mind is starved.”

14. “A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.”

15. “A healthy and wholesome cheerfulness is not necessarily impossible to any occupation.”

16. “A home without a cat and a well-fed, well-petted, and properly-revered cat may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove its title?”

17. “A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”

18. “A little citizenship ought to be taught at the mother’s knee and in the nursery.”

19. “A man can seldom, very, very, seldom, fight a winning fight against his training; the odds are too heavy.”

20. “A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

Be Good And You Will Be Lonely Quotes Images By Mark Twain
Be Good And You Will Be Lonely Quotes Images By Mark Twain

Popular Sayings Pictures From Mark Twain

21. “A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.”

22. “A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom when he can no longer be led by the nose.”

23. “A man performs but one duty, the duty of contenting his spirit, the duty of making himself agreeable to himself.”

24. “A man will do many things to get himself loved. He will do all things to get himself envied.”

25. “A man with a hump backed uncle mustn’t make fun of another man’s cross eyed aunt.”

26. “A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.”

27. “A mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart a heart so large that everybody’s grief and everybody’s joy found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation.”

28. “A newspaper is not just for reporting the news as it is, but to make people mad enough to do something about it.”

29. “A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words… the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.”

30. “A proof once established is better left so.”

Brooklyn Praise Is Half Slander Quotes Images By Mark Twain
Brooklyn Praise Is Half Slander Quotes Images By Mark Twain

Revolutionary Quotes Images By Mark Twain

31. “A public library is the most enduring of memorials, the trustiest monument for the preservation of an event or a name or an affection for it, and it only is respected by wars and revolutions and survives them.”

32. “A railroad is like a lie you have to keep building to it to make it stand.”

33. “A sincere compliment is always grateful to a lady, so long as you don’t try to knock her down with it.”

34. “A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.”

35. “A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.”

36. “Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was, that they escaped teething.”

37. “Adam was but human, this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple’s sake; he wanted it only because it was forbidden.”

38. “Affection and devotion are qualities that are able to adorn and render beautiful a character that is otherwise unattractive, and even repulsive.”

39. “Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.”

40. “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

Comedy Keeps The Heart Sweet Quotes Images By Mark Twain
Comedy Keeps The Heart Sweet Quotes Images By Mark Twain

Motivating Quotes Images By Mark Twain

41. “All kings is mostly rapscallions.”

42. “All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep a hotel.”

43. “All say, How hard it is that we have to die, a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live.”

44. “All scenery in California requires distance to give it charm.”

45. “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.”

46. “Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.”

47. “Always do things right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.”

48. “Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.”

49. “Always obey your parents when they are present.”

50. “An American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi Gras in New Orleans.”

Comparison Is The Death Of Joy Quotes Images By Mark Twain
Comparison Is The Death Of Joy Quotes Images By Mark Twain

Inspirational Sayings Images From Mark Twain

51. “An ecstasy is a thing that will not go into words; it feels like music.”

52. “An honest man in politics shines more there than he would elsewhere.”

53. “An occasional compliment is necessary to keep up one’s self-respect.”

54. “An open mind leaves a chance for someone to drop a worthwhile thought in it.”

55. “And what is a man without energy? Nothing, nothing at all.”

56. “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

57. “Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.”

58. “Any so-called material thing that you want is merely a symbol: you want it not for itself, but because it will content your spirit for the moment.”

59. “Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.”

60. “Arguments have no chance against petrified training; they wear it as little as the waves wear a cliff.”

Dance Like Nobodys Looking Quotes Images By Mark Twain
Dance Like Nobodys Looking Quotes Images By Mark Twain

Motivating Quotes Images By Mark Twain

61. “As long as you are in your right mind, don’t you ever pray for twins. Twins amount to a permanent riot. And there ain’t any real difference between triplets and an insurrection.”

62. “At this supremely dangerous moment in human history, the only way of salvation is the ancient Hindu way.”

63. “A street in Constantinople is a picture which one ought to see once-not oftener.”

64. “Bad teeth in the colonies. A citizen told me that they don’t have teeth filled, but pull them out and put in false ones and that now and then sees a young lady with a full set.”

65. “Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”

66. “Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul.”

67. “Be good and you will be lonely.”

68. “Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.”

69. “Be wise as a serpent and wary as a dove!”

70. “Bee scientists always speak of the bee as she. It is because all the important bees are of thet sex.”

Hunger Is The Handmaid Of Genius Quotes Images By Mark Twain
Hunger Is The Handmaid Of Genius Quotes Images By Mark Twain

Inspiring Sayings Pictures By Mark Twain

71. “Better a broken promise than none at all.”

72. “Better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”

73. “Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.”

74. “Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all of one’s lifetime.”

75. “Brooklyn praise is half slander.”

76. “But up to seven I lived exclusively on allopathic medicines. Not that I needed them, for I don’t think I did; It was for economy; my father took a drug store for a debt and it made cod-liver cheaper than the other breakfast foods.”

77. “But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?”

78. “By common consent of all the nations and all the ages the most valuable thing in this world is the homage of men, whether deserved or undeserved.”

79. “By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.”

80. “By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man’s, I mean.”

Tough Times Teach Trust Quotes Images By Mark Twain
Tough Times Teach Trust Quotes Images By Mark Twain

Legendary Quotes Images From Mark Twain

81. “Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.”

82. “Censorship is telling a man he can’t have a steak just because a baby can’t chew it.”

83. “Citizenship is what makes a republic; monarchies can get along without it”

84. “Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.”

85. “Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.”

86. “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”

87. “Cold! If the thermometer had been an inch longer we’d have frozen to death.”

88. “Comedy keeps the heart sweet.”

89. “Comparison is the death of joy.”

90. “Conservatism is the blind and fear-filled worship of dead radicals.”

We Are All Alike On The Inside Quotes Images By Mark Twain
We Are All Alike On The Inside Quotes Images By Mark Twain

Inspiring Quotes Pictures From Mark Twain

91. “Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.”

92. “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.”

93. “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. Except a creature be part coward, it is not a compliment to say it is brave.”

94. “Damn the subjunctive. It brings all our writers to shame.”

95. “Dance like nobody’s looking.”

96. “Dance like nobody’s watching; love like you’ve never been hurt. Sing like nobody’s listening; live like it’s heaven on earth”

97. “December is the toughest month of the year. Others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, October, August, and February.”

98. “Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.”

99. “Describing her first day back in grade school after a long absence, a teacher said, It was like trying to hold 35 corks under water at the same time.”

100. “Distance lends enchantment to the view.”

When In Doubt Tell The Truth Quotes Images By Mark Twain
When In Doubt Tell The Truth Quotes Images By Mark Twain

Famous Quotes Pictures From Mark Twain

101. “Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience”

102. “Do not offer a compliment and ask a favor at the same time. A compliment that is charged for is not valuable.”

103. “Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment; but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute”

104. “Do something everyday that you don’t want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.”

105. “Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.”

106. “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

107. “Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.”

108. “Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.”

109. “Duties are not performed for duty’s sake, but because their neglect would make the man uncomfortable.”

110. “Duties are not performed for duty’s sake, but because their neglect would make the man uncomfortable. A man performs but one duty, the duty of contenting his spirit, the duty of making himself agreeable to himself.”

Motivational Sayings Pictures By Mark Twain

111. “Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man’s enjoyment of his cigar.”

112. “Education is what you must acquire without any interference from your schooling.”

113. “Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.”

114. “Etiquette requires us to admire the human race.”

115. “Every citizen of the republic ought to consider himself an unofficial policeman, and keep unsalaried watch and ward over the laws and their execution.”

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116. “Every one is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody”

117. “Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. It’s like feeding a dog on his own tail. It won’t fatten the dog.”

118. “Everybody talks about the weather but nobody does anything about it.”

119. “Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.”

120. “Everyone’s private motto: It’s better to be popular than right.”

Revolutionary Quotes Pictures From Mark Twain

121. “Everything has its limit, iron ore cannot be educated into gold.”

122. “Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are pliable.”

123. “Faith is believing what you know ain’t so.”

124. “Familiarity breeds contempt, and children.”

125. “Familiarity breeds contempt. How accurate that is. The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it.”

126. “Fewer things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.”

127. “Find a job you enjoy doing, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”

128. “Focus more on your desire than on your doubt, and the dream will take care of itself.”

129. “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”

130. “Fortune knocks at every man’s door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.”

Motivating Quotes Pictures By Mark Twain

131. “France has neither winter nor summer nor morals apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.”

132. “Genius, like gold and precious stones, is chiefly prized because of its rarity.”

133. “Get a bicycle. You will not regret it, if you live.”

134. “Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.”

135. “Give a man a reputation as an early riser and he can sleep ’til noon.”

136. “Give an Irishman lager for a month and he’s a dead man. An Irishman’s stomach is lined with copper, and the beer corrodes it. But whiskey polishes the copper and is the saving of him.”

137. “Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life.”

138. “Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.”

139. “Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.”

140. “God created war so that Americans would learn geography.”

Best Quotes Pictures From Mark Twain

141. “God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention.”

142. “Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of other persons.”

143. “Good citizenship would teach accuracy of thinking and accuracy of statement.”

144. “Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.”

145. “Good fathers not only tell us how to live, they show us.”

146. “Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”

147. “Great enterprises usually promise vastly more than they perform.”

148. “Great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.”

149. “Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy must have somebody to divide it with.”

150. “Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.”

Beautiful Quotes Pictures By Mark Twain

151. “Happiness ain’t a thing in itself, it’s only a contrast with something that ain’t pleasant. And so, as soon as the novelty is over and the force of the contrast dulled, it ain’t happiness any longer, and you have to get something fresh.”

152. “Hawaii, the loveliest fleet of islands that lies anchored in any ocean.”

153. “He charged nothing for his preaching and it was worth it too.”

154. “He gossips habitually; he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.”

155. “He had a venerable gun, which was long enough to club any game with that came within shooting distance.”

156. “He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother’s path to happiness and heaven.”

157. “He was a very inferior farmer when he first begun … and he is now fast rising from affluence to poverty.”

158. “He wrote a doctor’s hand, the hand which from the beginning of time has been so disastrous to the pharmacist and so profitable to the undertaker.”

159. “He’s an animal lover… People he don’t like so much.”

160. “Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.”

Motivating Sayings Pictures By Mark Twain

161. “Heroine: girl who is perfectly charming to live with, in a book.”

162. “History doesn’t repeat itself; it rhymes.”

163. “Honesty is the best policy when there is money in it.”

164. “Honor is a harder master than the law. It cannot compromise for less than one hundred cents on a dollar, and its debts are never outlawed.”

165. “How empty is theory in the presence of fact!”

166. “Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”

167. “Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.”

168. “Hunger is the handmaid of genius.”

169. “I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts.”

170. “I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.”

Short Quotes Pictures By Mark Twain

171. “I am prepared to meet anyone, but whether anyone is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.”

172. “I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”

173. “I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that my art is not above the ordinary.”

174. “I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”

175. “I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell, you see, I have friends in both places.”

176. “I have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.”

177. “I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”

178. “I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. I have no other restriction as regards smoking.”

179. “I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”

180. “I have no color prejudices nor caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. All I care to know is that a man is a human being, and that is enough for me; he can’t be any worse.”

Knowledgeable Sayings Pictures By Mark Twain

181. “I have only one moral precept. Never smoke more than five cigars at a time.”

182. “I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up.”

183. “I never let my schooling interfere with my education.”

184. “I refused to attend his funeral. But I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it.”

185. “I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way.”

186. “I smoke in moderation. Only one cigar at a time.”

187. “I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.”

188. “I think a compliment ought to always precede a complaint, where one is possible, because it softens resentment and insures for the complaint a courteous and gentle reception.”

189. “I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.”

190. “I wonder how much it would take to buy a soap bubble, if there were only one in the world.”

Favorite Quotes Images From Mark Twain

191. “I would rather have my ignorance than another man’s knowledge, because I have got so much more of it.”

192. “If I cannot drink Bourbon and smoke cigars in Heaven than I shall not go.”

193. “If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.”

194. “If any teacher tries to persuade you that hypocrisy is not a part of your blood and bone and flesh, and can therefore be trained out of you by determined and watchful and ceaseless and diligent application to the job, do not you heed him; ask him to cure himself first, then call again.”

195. “If everyone was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes.”

196. “If smoking cigars is not permitted in heaven, I won”t go.”

197. “If smoking is not allowed in heaven, I shall not go.”

198. “If voting made any difference they wouldn’t let us do it.”

199. “If you beseech a blessing upon yourself, beware! lest without intent you invoke a curse upon a neighbor at the same time.”

200. “If you can’t get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.”

Creative Quotes Pictures By Mark Twain

201. “If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.”

202. “If you have nothing to say, say nothing.”

203. “If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.”

204. “If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bit you. That is the principal difference between a dog and a man.”

205. “If you should rear a duck in the heart of the Sahara, no doubt it would swim if you brought it to the Nile.”

206. “If you take epitaphs seriously, we ought to bury the living and resurrect the dead.”

207. “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”

208. “In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French I never did succeed in making them understand their language.”

209. “In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.”

210. “In discarding the monkey and substituting man, our Father in Heaven did the monkey an undeserved injustice.”

Great Sayings Images From Mark Twain

211. “In our country, we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.”

212. “In statesmanship get formalities right, never mind about the moralities.”

213. “In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.”

214. “In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.”

215. “In the real world, the right thing never happens in the right place and the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to make it appear that it has.”

216. “In this hot weather, the only beverage in the ship that is passable is the butter.”

217. “Independence … is loyalty to one’s best self and principles, and this is often disloyalty to the general idols and fetishes.”

218. “India has 2,000,000 gods, and worships them all. In religion other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire.”

219. “India is the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend, and the great grandmother of tradition. Our most valuable and most artistic materials in the history of man are treasured up in India only!”

220. “Information appears to stew out of me naturally, like the precious otter of roses out of the otter.”

Legendary Quotes Images By Mark Twain

221. “Is it the prohibition that makes anything precious?”

222. “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble.”

223. “It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.”

224. “It has been said that a Scotchman has not seen the world until he has seen Edinburgh; and I think that I may say that an American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi Gras in New Orleans.”

225. “It is a good idea to obey all the rules when you’re young just so you’ll have the strength to break them when you’re old.”

226. “It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people’s manners, but drowning would help.”

227. “It is a time when one’s spirit is subdued and sad, one knows not why; when the past seems a storm-swept desolation, life a vanity and a burden, and the future but a way to death.”

228. “It is best to read the weather forecasts before we pray for rain.”

229. “It is better to be a young June bug than an old bird of paradise.”

230. “It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.”

Short Quotes Images By Mark Twain

231. “It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you’re stupid, than to open it and remove all doubt.”

232. “It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.”

233. “It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.”

234. “It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.”

235. “It is easier to stay out than get out.”

236. “It is good sportsmanship not to pick up lost balls while they are still rolling.”

237. “It is in the heart that the values lie. I wish I could make him understand that a loving good heart is riches, and riches enough, and that without it intellect is poverty.”

238. “It is just like man’s vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.”

239. “It is lovely, when I forget all birthdays, including my own, to find that somebody remembers me.”

240. “It is no use to keep private information which you can’t show off.”

Wise Sayings Images By Mark Twain

241. “It is noble to teach oneself; it is still nobler to teach others.”

242. “It is not best that we use our morals week days; it gets them out for repair for Sundays.”

243. “It is not wise to keep the fire going under a slander unless you can get some large advantage out of keeping it alive. Few slanders can stand the wear of silence.”

244. “It is our nature to conform; it is a force which not many can successfully resist. What is its seat? The inborn requirement of self-approval.”

245. “It is your human environment that makes climate.”

246. “It isn’t safe to sit in judgment upon another person’s illusion when you are not on the inside. While you are thinking it is a dream, he maybe knowing it is a planet.”

247. “It may have happened, it may not have happened but it could have happened.”

248. “It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.”

249. “It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.”

250. “It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.”

Revolutionary Sayings Images From Mark Twain

251. “It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse races.”

252. “It will take mind and memory months and possibly years to gather together the details and thus learn and know the whole extent of the loss.”

253. “It’s always been my rule never to smoke when asleep and never to refrain when awake.”

254. “It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.”

255. “It’s easier to fool people than to convince them they have been fooled.”

256. “It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.”

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257. “It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”

258. “It’s not the good that die young, it’s the lucky.”

259. “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.”

260. “It’s spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you’ve got it, you want-oh, you don’t quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!”

Creative Quotes Pictures By Mark Twain

261. “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great makes you feel that you, too, can become great.”

262. “Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

263. “Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.”

264. “Let us be grateful to Adam: he cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us the curse of labor.”

265. “Let us be thankful for the fools; but for them the rest of us could not succeed.”

266. “Let us consider that we are all partially insane. It will explain us to each other; it will unriddle many riddles; it will make clear and simple many things which are involved in haunting and harassing difficulties and obscurities now.”

267. “Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”

268. “Life ain’t about how fast you run or how high you climb, It’s all about how good you bounce. A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

269. “Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly. love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that makes you smile.”

270. “Life is short, break the rules… and never regret anything that made you smile.”

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271. “Life would be definitely happier if we could only be born at the eighty and gradually approach eighteen.”

272. “Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.”

273. “Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.”

274. “Love is madness, if thwarted it develops fast.”

275. “Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.”

276. “Love: the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.”

277. “Loyalty to a petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.”

278. “Loyalty to country always. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.”

279. “Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.”

280. “Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.”

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281. “Lying is universal, we all do it; we all must do it.”

282. “Make your mark in New York and you are a made man.”

283. “Man is the master of the unspoken word, which spoken, is master of him.”

284. “Man is the only animal who’s got the true religion-several of them.”

285. “Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind.”

286. “Man will do many things to get himself loved; he will do all things to get himself envied.”

287. “Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.”

288. “Money-lust has always existed, but not in the history of the world was it ever a craze, a madness, until your time and mine.”

289. “Most people use statistics the way a drunkard uses a lamp post, more for support than illumination.”

290. “Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.”

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291. “My conscience is more trouble and bother to me than anything else I started with.”

292. “My father was a St. Bernard, my mother was a Collie, but I am a Presbyterian. This is what my mother told me; I do not know these nice distinctions myself.”

293. “My kind of loyalty was loyalty to one’s country, not to its institutions or its office-holders.”

294. “My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.”

295. “Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.”

296. “Nature makes the locust with an appetite for crops; man would have made him with an appetite for sand.”

297. “Necessity is the mother of taking chances.”

298. “Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”

299. “Never argue with a fool; onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.”

300. “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

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301. “Never let formal education get in the way of your learning.”

302. “Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.”

303. “Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.”

304. “Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.”

305. “New Orleans food is as delicious as the less criminal forms of sin.”

306. “New Year’s Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.”

307. “No alien land in all the world has any deep strong charm for me but that one, no other land could so longingly and so beseechingly haunt me, sleeping and waking, through half a lifetime, as that one has done. Other things leave me, but it abides; other things change, but it remains the same. For me the balmy airs are always blowing, its summer seas flashing in the sun; the pulsing of its surfbeat is in my ear; I can see its garlanded crags, its leaping cascades, its plumy palms drowsing by the shore, its remote summits floating like islands above the cloud wrack; I can feel the spirit of its wildland solitudes, I can hear the splash of its brooks; in my nostrils still lives the breath of flowers that perished twenty years ago.”

308. “No man and woman really know what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.”

309. “No one can tell me what is a good cigar for me. I am the only judge. People who claim to know say that I smoke the worst cigars in the world. They bring their own cigars when they come to my house.”

310. “No one has ever seen a Republican mass meeting that was devoid of the perception of the ludicrous.”

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311. “No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.”

312. “No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.”

313. “No woman can look as well out of fashion as in it.”

314. “Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.”

315. “Nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds.”

316. “Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child’s loss of a doll and a king’s loss of a crown are events of the same size.”

317. “Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be Pirates.”

318. “Obscurity and competence, that is the life that is best worth living.”

319. “October: This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.”

320. “Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.”

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321. “Of all the animals, man is the only one that lies.”

322. “Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.”

323. “One can enjoy a rainbow without necessarily forgetting the forces that made it.”

324. “One may make their house a palace of sham, or they can make it a home, a refuge.”

325. “One of the most striking differences between a cat and lie is that a cat has only nine lives.”

326. “One ought always to lie, when one can do good by it.”

327. “Only he who has seen better days and lives to see better days again knows their full value.”

328. “Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.”

329. “Only when a republic’s life is in danger should a man uphold his government when it is wrong. There is no other time.”

330. “Part of the secret to success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.”

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331. “Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.”

332. “Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it.”

333. “Peace..happiness..brotherhood.. that is what we want in this world.”

334. “Perfect grammar, persistent, continuous, sustained, is the fourth dimension, so to speak: many have sought it, but none has found it.”

335. “Pessimism is only the name that men of weak nerve give to wisdom.”

336. “Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.”

337. “Preachers are always pleasant company when they are off duty.”

338. “Prejudice cannot see the things that are because it is always looking for things that aren’t.”

339. “Prohibition only drives drunkenness behind doors and into dark places, and does not cure it or even diminish it.”

340. “Prophecy: Two bull’s eyes out of a possible million.”

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341. “Prosperity is the best protector of principle.”

342. “Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.”

343. “Public servant: Persons chosen by the people to distribute the graft.”

344. “Quitting smoking is easy, I’ve done it hundreds of times.”

345. “Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes, and wishes he was certain.”

346. “Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.”

347. “Right is right, and wrong is wrong, and a body ain’t got no business doing wrong when he ain’t ignorant and knows better.”

348. “Sacred cows make the best hamburger.”

349. “Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.”

350. “Scotch Whiskey… I always take it at night as a preventative of toothache. I have never had a toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.”

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351. “Simplified spelling is all right, but, like chastity, you can carry it too far.”

352. “Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.”

353. “Spirit has fifty times the strength and staying-power of brawn and muscle”

354. “Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of congress; but I repeat myself.”

355. “Surely, if anything is proven by whole oceans and continents of evidence, it is the quality of independence was almost wholly left out of the human race.”

356. “Synergy, the bonus that is achieved when things work together harmoniously.”

357. “Thanksgiving Day became a habit, for the reason that in the course of time, as the years drifted on, it was perceived that the exterminating had ceased to be mutual and was all on the white man’s side, consequently on the Lord’s side; hence it was proper to thank the Lord for it and extend the usual annual compliments.”

358. “Thanksgiving Day, a function which originated in New England two or three centuries ago when those people recognized that they really had something to be thankful for, annually, not oftener, if they had succeeded in exterminating their neighbors, the Indians, during the previous twelve months instead of getting exterminated by their neighbors, the Indians.”

359. “That is just the way with some people. They get down on a thing when they don’t know nothing about it.”

360. “That’s the difference between governments and individuals. Governments don’t care, individuals do.”

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361. “The Bible has noble poetry in it… and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.”

362. “The Bible is] a mass of fables and traditions, mere mythology.”

363. “The Christian’s Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.”

364. “The Eagle, the scavenger bird, bird of prey, the proper symbol of royalty & nobility.”

365. “The English alphabet is pure insanity, It can hardly spell any word in the language with any degree of certainty.”

366. “The aim of democracy is harmony, its goal is Brotherhood.”

367. “The air up there in the clouds is very pure and fine, bracing and delicious. And why shouldn’t it be? it is the same the angels breathe.”

368. “The altar cloth of one aeon is the doormat of the next.”

369. “The art of prophecy is very difficult, especially with respect to the future.”

370. “The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

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371. “The catfish is plenty good enough fish for anyone.”

372. “The cayote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him, and even the fleas would desert him for a velocipede.”

373. “The cigar-box which the European calls a ‘lift’ needs but to be compared with our elevators to be appreciated. The lift stops to reflect between floors. That is alright in a hearse, but not in elevators. The American elevator acts like a man’s patent purge, it works.”

374. “The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.”

375. “The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.”

376. “The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man’s.”

377. “The face of the river, in time, became a wonderful book. . .which told us mind to me without reserve, delivering its most cherished secrets as clearly as if it had uttered them with a voice. And it was not a book to be read once and thrown aside, fir it had a new story to tell every day.”

378. “The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creatures that cannot.”

379. “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”

380. “The finest clothing made is a person’s skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this..”

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381. “The first man was a hypocrite and a coward, qualities which have not yet failed in his line; it is the foundation upon which all civilizations have been built.”

382. “The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.”

383. “The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card.”

384. “The highest perfection of politeness is only a beautiful edifice, built, from the base to the dome, of ungraceful and gilded forms of charitable and unselfish lying.”

385. “The holy passion of Friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.”

386. “The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.”

387. “The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.”

388. “The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.”

389. “The institution of royalty in any form is an insult to the human race.”

390. “The lack of money is the root of all evil.”

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391. “The less there is to justify a traditional custom, the harder it is to get rid of it”

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392. “The lightning there is peculiar; it is so convincing, that when it strikes a thing it doesn’t leave enough of that thing behind for you to tell whether, Well, you’d think it was something valuable, and a Congressman had been there.”

393. “The loveliest fleet of islands that lies anchored in any ocean.”

394. “The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.”

395. “The man who does not read good books is at no advantage over the man that can’t read them.”

396. “The man who does not read good books is no better than the man who can’t.”

397. “The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”

398. “The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.”

399. “The man who is ostentatious of his modesty is twin to the statue that wears a fig-leaf.”

400. “The man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

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401. “The more you explain it, the more I don’t understand it.”

402. “The most outrageous lies that can be invented will find believers if a person only tells them with all his might.”

403. “The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.”

404. “The only people who should use the possessive ‘we’ are kings, newspaper editors, and persons with tapeworms.”

405. “The only reason why God created man is because he was disappointed with the monkey.”

406. “The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.”

407. “The past does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.”

408. “The people stared at us everywhere, and we stare at them. We bore down on them with America’s greatness until we crushed them.”

409. “The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy give one and take ten.”

410. “The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopt.”

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411. “The rain is famous for falling on the just and unjust alike, but if I had the management of such affairs I would rain softly and sweetly on the just, but if I caught a sample of the unjust out doors I would drown him.”

412. “The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.”

413. “The river has great wisdom and whispers it’s secrets to the hearts of men.”

414. “The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.”

415. “The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”

416. “The secret of getting started is breaking your complex, overwhelming tasks into small, manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.”

417. “The secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.”

418. “The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.”

419. “The symbol of the race ought to be a human being carrying an ax, for every human being has one concealed about him somewhere, and is always seeking the opportunity to grind it.”

420. “The trouble isn’t that there are many fools, but that the lightning isn’t distributed right.”

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421. “The trouble with the world is not that people know too little; it’s that they know so many things that just aren’t so.”

422. “The true pioneer of civilization is not the newspaper, not religion, not the railroad but whiskey!”

423. “The two most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why.”

424. “The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.”

425. “The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.”

426. “The water is clearer than the air, and the air is the air that angels breathe.”

427. “The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.”

428. “The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.”

429. “There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.”

430. “There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.”

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431. “There are no grades of vanity, there are only grades of ability in concealing it.”

432. “There are people who exaggerate so much that they can’t tell the truth without lying.”

433. “There are too many stars in some places and not enough in others.”

434. “There are women who have an indefinable charm in their faces which makes them beautiful to their intimates, but a cold stranger who tried to reason the matter out and find this beauty would fail.”

435. “There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy’s life that he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure.”

436. “There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.”

437. “There is a great deal of human nature in people.”

438. “There is no architecture in New Orleans except in the cemeteries.”

439. “There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.”

440. “There is no such thing as a new idea. It is impossible. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope. We give them a turn and they make new and curious combinations. We keep on turning and making new combinations indefinitely; but they are the same old pieces of colored glass that have been in use through all the ages.”

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441. “There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage.”

442. “There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.”

443. “There was a great difference in boats, of course. For a long time I was on a boat that was so slow we used to forget what year it was we left port in.”

444. “They did not know it was impossible so they did it.”

445. “They have three Sundays a week in Tangier. the Muhammadans’ comes on Friday, the Jews’ on Saturday, and that of the Christian Consuls on Sunday.”

446. “They spell it Vinci and pronounce it Vinchy; foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.”

447. “Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered either by themselves or by others.”

448. “Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.”

449. “To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler and less trouble.”

450. “To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did, I ought to know because I’ve done it a thousand times.”

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451. “To create man was a quaint and original idea, but to add the sheep was tautology.”

452. “To do good is noble. To tell others to do good is even nobler and much less trouble.”

453. “To eat is human, to digest, divine.”

454. “To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with.”

455. “To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government and the sure and gradual deterioration of the public morals.”

456. “To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very things.”

457. “To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.”

458. “To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.”

459. “Today’s burdens can strengthen you for tomorrow.”

460. “Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right.”

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461. “Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.”

462. “Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.”

463. “Tough times teach trust.”

464. “Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.”

465. “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.”

466. “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.”

467. “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.”

468. “Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.”

469. “Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.”

470. “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, and catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover.”

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471. “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.”

472. “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

473. “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the things you did.”

474. “Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than those you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbor. Catch the wind in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

475. “Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.”

476. “We adore titles and heredities in our hearts and ridicule them with our mouths. This is our democratic privilege.”

477. “We are all alike, on the inside.”

478. “We are chameleons, and our partialities and prejudices change place with an easy and blessed facility, and we are soon wonted to the change and happy in it.”

479. “We can secure other people’s approval, if we do right and try hard but our own is worth a hundred of it, and no way has been found out of securing that.”

480. “We can’t reach old age by another man’s road.”

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481. “We despise no source that can pay us a pleasing attention.”

482. “We do not deal much in facts when we are contemplating ourselves.”

483. “We have the best government that money can buy.”

484. “We picked up one excellent word, a word worth travelling to New Orleans to get; a nice limber, expressive handy word, ‘Lagniappe.’ They pronounce it lanny-yap. . . . It is the equivalent of the thirteenth roll in a ‘baker’s dozen.’ It is something thrown in, gratis, for good measure.”

485. “We recognize that there are no trivial occurrences in life if we get the right focus on them.”

486. “We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in itand stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid againand that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.”

487. “We white people are merely modified Thugs; Thugs fretting under the restraints of a not very thick skin of civilization.”

488. “We’re having the same old thing for Christmas dinner this year… relatives.”

489. “What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.”

490. “What do I think of Prohibition? Nothing, for the simple reason that there is no such thing. When men want drink, they’ll have it in spite of all the laws ever passed; when they don;t want it, no drink will be sold.”

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491. “What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth. No smallest atom of our moral, mental, or physical structure can stand still a year. It grows, it must grow; nothing can prevent it.”

492. “What keeps a republic on its legs is good citizenship.”

493. “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.”

494. “When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.”

495. “When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name it means trouble.”

496. “When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.”

497. “When in doubt, tell the truth.”

498. “When one has tasted watermelon, he knows what the angels eat.”

499. “When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.”

500. “When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.”

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501. “When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else.”

502. “When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.”

503. “When you cannot get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.”

504. “When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.”

505. “Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.”

506. “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it’s time to pause and reflect.”

507. “While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.”

508. “Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues.”

509. “Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over.”

510. “Who is to decide what ought to command my reverence, my neighbor or I? . . You can’t have reverence for a thing that doesn’t command it. If you could do that, you could digest what you haven’t eaten, and do other miracles and get a reputation.”

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511. “Why is it that we rejoice at birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.”

512. “Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.”

513. “Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.”

514. “Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.”

515. “Wrinkles only show where smiles have been.”

516. “Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.”

517. “Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.”

518. “You can find in a text whatever you bring, if you will stand between it and the mirror of your imagination.”

519. “You can’t break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You’ve got to walk it slowly down the stairs.”

520. “You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.”

521. “You can’t reason with your heart; it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.”

522. “You cannot depend on your judgment when your imagination is out of focus.”

523. “You don’t make your character in a crises; you exhibit it.”

524. “You want to be very careful about lying; otherwise you are nearly sure to get caught.”