33+ Favorite Quotes From Jerry Seinfeld | Free Hd Background Images Download
If you have ended up here searching for quotes and images with valuable words of wisdom from the famous Jerry Seinfeld, then here they are. Maybe these famous thoughts from Jerry Seinfeld are already familiar to you. These quotes express our reflection because the people who wrote these are also like us and consist the same feelings as we do. These are results of some deep thoughts and observations from their lives and are like our lives because we are all human. They have been there where we are standing now. So, why hesitate anymore? Discover the views of a person who feels the same way we do. These quotes and images by Jerry Seinfeld are the truest, wisest, and most positive ones to be found on the web. For you, we have created this collection that consists of Jerry Seinfeld sayings coming from different sources of the internet.
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Table of Contents
Wise Quotes Images From Jerry Seinfeld
1. “A bookstore is one of the many pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.”
2. “A two-year-old is like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.”
3. “According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that seem right? That means to the average person, if you have to go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”
4. “Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic, you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner.”
5. “Breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push. You gotta rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.”
6. “Comedy is just complaining in an entertaining way, Enterplaining.”
7. “Crankiness is at the essence of all comedy. My wife and I were discussing the different types of cranky. There’s entertaining cranky, annoying cranky, angry cranky.”
8. “Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night?”
9. “Dogs are smarter than lots of people. They wag their tails instead of their tongue.”
10. “Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? No pockets.”
Motivating Sayings Pictures By Jerry Seinfeld
11. “Fatherhood makes you cute. Women find bumbling fathers cute and attractive.”
12. “I am so busy doing nothing that the idea of doing anything which as you know, always leads to something cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.”
13. “I’ll tell you one of the great activities is skateboarding. To learn to do a skateboard trick, how many times do you gotta get something wrong til you get it right? And you hurt yourself, and you learn to do that trick, now you got a life lesson. Every time I see those skateboard kids, I think ‘those kids’ll be alright.'”
14. “If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?”
15. “Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.”
16. “Let’s face it; a date is a job interview that lasts all night. The only difference between a date and a job interview is: not in many job interviews is there a chance you’ll end up naked at the end of it”
17. “Make no mistake about why these babies are here, they are here to replace us.”
18. “Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.”
19. “My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that’s the law.”
20. “Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.”
Top Sayings Images From Jerry Seinfeld
21. “Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you’ve got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn’t your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.”
22. “Of course, everyone wants to be healthy. The amusing thing is no one’s really sure how to do it.”
23. “Pay attention, don’t let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.”
24. “Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there’s no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.”
25. “That’s the true spirit of Christmas: people being helped by people other than me.”
26. “The worst thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you’re doing.”
27. “There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.”
28. “There is nothing more rewarding than completing a goal you have set for yourself.”
29. “There’s no easy way to break off any relationship. It’s like the mozzarella cheese on a good slice of pizza. No matter how far you pull the slice away from your mouth it just gets thinner and longer but never snaps.”
30. “There’s nothing more fun than entertaining kids.”
31. “We want to do a lot of stuff; we’re not in great shape. We didn’t get a good night’s sleep. We’re a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.”
32. “What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference is there aren’t many job interviews where you’ll wind up naked.”
33. “Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not the color, but to accept God’s final decision on where your lips end.”
34. “You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.”
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Shuvo
Hi there! I Am Shuvo Saha. I am a Musician. I play Bass. Besides that, I love to explore. As in, surf the web, gather knowledge, and share them. Recently, I have discovered that Blogging can be quite a useful way, to share. Being a thoughtful person, and a social being, I find it very amusing to explore people's thoughts, observations, and experiences. Regardless of time, place, situation, event, or occasion, it is in our human nature, to learn and express. Many of these expressions of life, result in taking the form of wishes, quotes, greetings, messages, and captions. I, with my lovely Wishian team, gather the expressions, sort them out, organize them with suitable background images, and serve them to you. So that you can share them back, with the whole world.
