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73+ Legendary Quotes By Jarod Kintz | Free Hd Wallpaper Images Download

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Knowledgable Quotes Images By Jarod Kintz

1. “A blank canvas is so abstract that only imagination can fill it. But wait! Don’t hang it on the wall like that. It’s upside down.”

2. “A mirror is like my own personal reality TV show where I’m both the star and only viewer. I’ve got to get my ratings up.”

3. “A part-time worker is fully employed, half the time. In other words, they are part-time unemployees.”

4. “A sister should set her brother up with one of her friends, unless her only friend is her sister.”

5. “A sofa on an elevator would be like a slow roller coaster where you get to work on your small talk skills. Oh yes, I am an adrenaline junky.”

6. “A string of burglaries is a crime necklace. Everything I have can be stolen except love, because I give it all away.”

7. “At first sign of crisis, the ignorant don’t panic because they don’t know what’s going on, and then later they panic precisely because they don’t know what’s going on.”

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8. “Be memorable. Say something unforgettable. Be silent”

9. “Blood may be thicker than water, but it’s certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries.”

10. “Cats are like walking brooms you can actually comfortably cuddle with.”

Be Memorable Say Something Unforgettable Be Silent Quotes Images By Jarod Kintz
Be Memorable Say Something Unforgettable Be Silent Quotes Images By Jarod Kintz

Meaningful Sayings Pictures By Jarod Kintz

11. “College has given me the confidence I need to fail.”

12. “Courage is a vitamin best swallowed with whiskey.”

13. “Design is body language for inanimate objects.”

14. “Doing autograph sessions all day is not what I signed up for. But that’s just all part of not being famous.”

15. “Doors open up for you when you work hard. Doors also open up for you when you walk with a limp and act gimpy.”

16. “Drinking coffee is like drinking an inverse yawn. I prefer mine with two spoonfuls of ?I?m listening.?”

17. “Every politician has a promising career. Unfortunately, most of them do not keep those promises.”

18. “Faith: a device of the mind, fed by the soul, that functions like crutches to a man in a wheelchair.”

19. “For me, it’s not about winning an award. It’s also about not even being nominated”

20. “For our first date we went Dutch. We would have gone another nationality, but they are the tallest.”

College Has Given Me The Confidence I Need To Fail Quotes Images By Jarod Kintz
College Has Given Me The Confidence I Need To Fail Quotes Images By Jarod Kintz

Philosophical Sayings Images From Jarod Kintz

21. “Free time is the most expensive time you have because nobody pays for it but you. But that also makes it the most valuable time you have, as you alone stand to reap the profits from spending it wisely.”

22. “From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.”

23. “Gather the wheelchairs in a circle, and then summon the cripples. Would anybody care for a glass of discrimination”

24. “Goodbyes, they often come in waves.”

25. “Hungry and thirsty? Soup solves both problems at once.”

26. “I bought two items to get a third free, and then I returned the two. I should be Shopper of the Year.”

27. “I called to tell her I loved her, which was smart, because if I’d have done it in person, I’d have caught her with another man. I don’t care if he was my clone, it isn’t right and it pisses me off. I was backstabbed by myself.”

28. “I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are.”

29. “I don’t understand people who don’t touch their pets. Their cat or dog is called a pet for a reason.”

30. “I find wisdom in the waves. Goodbye is a hello to a life without you.”

Courage Is A Vitamin Best Swallowed With Whiskey Quotes Images By Jarod Kintz
Courage Is A Vitamin Best Swallowed With Whiskey Quotes Images By Jarod Kintz

Motivational Quotes Images From Jarod Kintz

31. “I hate fake people. You know what I’m talking about. Mannequins.”

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32. “I hate when I dream of alarm clocks going off.”

33. “I have a tongue like a rose petal, and when I say I love you, it has the fragrance of truth. My words are my garden, and I’m planting our future”

34. “I poured a compass into my coffee, to give the flavor some direction.”

35. “I want to go to sleep in my time machine and wake up eight hours in the future.”

36. “I went fishing, and I caught a minnow. If you think that’s tiny, you should see the bait I was using. What micro fish could resist my love?”

37. “I wish my stove came with a Save As button like Word has. That way I could experiment with my cooking and not fear ruining my dinner.”

38. “I’d love to try to sell a blank white canvas to an art dealer. And when he asks what it is I’d tell him it’s a landscape painting of Key West from the perspective of an optimistic blind man.”

39. “I’m wearing shoes made of sea foam, and I am here to seduce the elderly. If you brought the geriatrics, then I brought the jellyfish.”

40. “If I could lick the sunset, I’ll bet it would taste like Neapolitan ice cream.”

Design Is Body Language For Inanimate Objects Quotes Images By Jarod Kintz
Design Is Body Language For Inanimate Objects Quotes Images By Jarod Kintz

Renown Quotes Pictures From Jarod Kintz

41. “If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.”

42. “In high school, I got voted most likely to get voted for something. Even though I was the only one who voted, it still felt terrific being nominated.”

43. “In the lobby of every business incubator there needs to be a bathtub, to get the ideas flowing. But to make it functional, it needs to be used as a fish tank.”

44. “It’s always sunny in the Sunshine State. Except for at night.”

45. “It’s not who you know that matters it’s who knows you that’s important. Personal branding builds up your reputation to the point where you have a presence even in your absence.”

46. “Love is a circular emotion that surrounds you, like a hug. Or a noose.”

47. “Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”

48. “Most people buy the highest quality television sets, only to watch the lowest quality television shows.”

49. “My drug of choice is love. Sure, I’ve tried other drugs, but no other drug gets both the dealer and user high from every transaction.”

50. “My left hand is my bad hand. I spank it with my right hand. You might call it clapping, but I call it discipline.”

Goodbyes They Often Come In Waves Quotes Images By Jarod Kintz
Goodbyes They Often Come In Waves Quotes Images By Jarod Kintz

Beautiful Quotes Images By Jarod Kintz

51. “My love for you is like a Florida sunset. Orange, coral, pink, and lavender, it exists to warm your heart through the inevitable darkness.”

52. “My love is expansive. Your love is expensive.”

53. “My two favorite colors of the rainbow are gold and leprechaun.”

54. “Obesity isn’t as cool as it used to be, back in the earlier centuries. Before it was a reflection on your gross income, and now it’s just gross.”

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55. “One of my main regrets in life is giving considerable thought to inconsiderate people.”

56. “Pride must be a summer thing, because it comes before the fall.”

57. “Teamwork: I love the idea of all for one especially if that one is me.”

58. “The American Dream is to not have to work, so with unemployment at record levels, you’d think more people would be excited and grateful for the government intervention that got us to this glorious economic point.”

59. “The ability to gauge intelligence is itself a form of intelligence. Monkeys don’t ponder how smart monkeys are. Ditto for politicians.”

60. “The canvas isn’t empty. It’s full of whatever you imagine it to be full of.”

Hungry And Thirsty Soup Solves Both Problems At Once Quotes Images By Jarod Kintz
Hungry And Thirsty Soup Solves Both Problems At Once Quotes Images By Jarod Kintz

Aesthetic Sayings Pictures From Jarod Kintz

61. “The cool thing about unemployment is every day is Saturday.”

62. “The first door in the hall leads to youth, the second door leads to middle age, and the third door leads to the bathroom. But knock first, because I think grandpa’s in there.”

63. “The most deadly combination known to man is low IQ and high testosterone.”

64. “The price of gold is up 14 fold since last time I tried unfolding it. And laundry has declined two folds.”

65. “The sun would be better than a flashlight, except it doesn’t work at night. It probably needs to recharge its batteries from running all day.”

66. “The year you were born marks only your entry into the world. Other years where you prove your worth, they are the ones worth celebrating.”

67. “Things aren’t often what they appear to be at first blush. But embarrassment is.”

68. “To love someone as much as you love yourself, that is the ideal. Especially if that someone is your clone.”

69. “Too much nudity is a turn off. Especially if all that flesh is on one person.”

70. “When congratulations are in order, I like to wait until they’re out of order to offer a high five or enthusiastic pat on the back.”

I Hate When I Dream Of Alarm Clocks Going Off Quotes Images By Jarod Kintz
I Hate When I Dream Of Alarm Clocks Going Off Quotes Images By Jarod Kintz

71. “Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference, if you made no difference in the world.”

72. “With my last breath, I’ll exhale my love for you. I hope it’s a cold day, so you can see what you meant to me.”

73. “You could empty the trash and my love for you still wouldn’t fit inside. But just because it won’t fit, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t empty the trash.”

74. “You gotta run more than your mouth to escape the treadmill of mediocrity. A true hustler jogs during the day, and sleepwalks at night.”

Mondays Are Mundane Like Tuesdays Minus 24 Hours Quotes Images By Jarod Kintz
Mondays Are Mundane Like Tuesdays Minus 24 Hours Quotes Images By Jarod Kintz
My Love Is Expansive Your Love Is Expensive Quotes Images By Jarod Kintz
My Love Is Expansive Your Love Is Expensive Quotes Images By Jarod Kintz
The Cool Thing About Unemployment Is Every Day Is Saturday Quotes Images By Jarod Kintz
The Cool Thing About Unemployment Is Every Day Is Saturday Quotes Images By Jarod Kintz