92+ Renown Sayings By George Carlin | Free Hd Background Images Download
The famous George Carlin have shared many valuable thoughts about various things, which you will find here together. These sayings by George Carlin are famous, thoughtful, and popular. In many places, they are being used which came from the people who also consisted the same feelings as us. If you read these you may find many similarities with our thoughts, because they went through and observed the same things in life. Their perspective of seeing life is quite like ours. Why are you making late? Read the opinions of others who have had the same emotion. The truest, wisest, and most positive quotes and images from George Carlin that you can find to scroll through. Being picked out from all over the internet, this collection of George Carlin sayings is here only to serve you.
We have carefully chosen more than 92 quotes by George Carlin with images and gathered them here for you. Let’s look at these images which carry the best George Carlin quotes. They represent the inner thoughts that we feel in the different phases of our life. We have chosen and organized a selection of wonderful images by George Carlin quotes just for you. The choice is yours; you can choose any of them. We proudly bring to you this remarkable collection of pictures with quotes from George Carlin. You have no need of approbation of anyone also to share these George Carlin quote pictures on WhatsApp, Messenger, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, or any other social media. Spread some positivity by sharing these quotes with pictures from George Carlin, you know it or not, the world around you badly needs it. You are so important to us that all these creative images with George Carlin quotes have been created only for you.
Table of Contents
Aesthetic Sayings Pictures From George Carlin
1. “A lot of gay men stay in the closet because they are interested in fashion.”
2. “A lot of the people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat belt.”
3. “An Ideal Husband Life is a near-death experience.”
4. “And he won’t be allowed to play dodgeball because it’s exclusionary, and it promotes aggression. Standing around is still okay.”
5. “And you know, in this country now, there are a lot of people who want to expand the death penalty to include drug dealers. This is really stupid. Drug dealers aren’t afraid to die. They’re already killing each other every day on the streets by the hundreds; drive-bys, gang shootings. They’re not afraid to die. Death penalty doesn’t mean anything unless you use it on people who are afraid to die. Like… the bankers who launder the drug money.”
6. “As soon as they close the door to the aircraft, that’s when they begin the safety lecture. I love the safety lecture! This is my favorite part of the airplane ride! I listen very carefully to the safety lecture, especially that part where they teach us how to use the seat belts! Imagine this: here we are, a plane full of grown human beings… many of us partially educated, and they’re actually taking time out to describe the intricate workings of a belt buckle!”
7. “At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.”
8. “Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror.”
9. “Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes.”
10. “By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.”
Meaningful Quotes Pictures By George Carlin
11. “Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.”
12. “Don’t just teach your kids to read, teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.”
13. “Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.”
14. “Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.”
15. “Electricity is really just organized lightning.”
16. “Environmentalists changed the word jungle to rain forest, because no one would give them money to save a jungle. Same with swamps and wetlands.”
17. “Even volleyball is racquet-less team ping pong played with an inflated ball and a raised net while standing on the table.”
18. “Fuck the drug war. Dropping acid was a profound turning point for me, a seminal experience. I make no apologies for it. More people should do acid. It should be sold over the counter.”
19. “Griddle cakes, pancakes, hot cakes, flapjacks: why are there four names for grilled batter and only one word for love?”
20. “Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
Knowledgable Sayings Images By George Carlin
21. “Heart disease has changed my eating habits, but I still cook bacon for the smell.”
22. “Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”
23. “I don’t eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don’t eat anything that looks like I should step on it.”
24. “I like Florida. Everything is in the 80’s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ’s.”
25. “I never eat sushi. I have trouble eating things that are merely unconscious.”
26. “I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a whole lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me, they’re cramming for their final exam.”
27. “I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.”
28. “I’m sixty years of age. That’s 16 Celsius.”
29. “If a lobster didn’t look like a sci-fi monster, people would be less able to drop him alive into boiling water.”
30. “If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is it homeless or naked?”
Inspiring Sayings Images From George Carlin
31. “If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?”
32. “If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. And probably increase.”
33. “If it requires a uniform, it’s a worthless endeavor.”
34. “If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?”
35. “If people stand in a circle long enough, they’ll eventually begin to dance.”
36. “If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?”
37. “If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.”
38. “If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?”
39. “In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.”
40. “Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.”
Motivating Quotes Pictures By George Carlin
41. “It’s called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
42. “It’s the only metaphor we have in our public discourse for solving a problem; it’s called declaring a war. We got a war on poverty, the war on crime, war on litter, the war on cancer, the war on drugs.”
43. “Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town.”
44. “Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.”
45. “Let’s not have a double standard. One standard will do just fine.”
46. “Marry an orphan: you’ll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws (at most an occasional visit to the cemetery)”
47. “May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”
48. “Men are four times more likely than women to commit suicide, even though women attempt it more.”
49. “Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.”
50. “Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.”
Renown Quotes Images From George Carlin
51. “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”
52. “Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.”
53. “Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.”
54. “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
55. “No comment is a comment.”
56. “One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.”
57. “One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.”
58. “Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We’re not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.”
59. “People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it’s really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn’t want you to know.”
60. “People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.”
Motivating Quotes Images By George Carlin
61. “Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.”
62. “Religion is like a pair of shoes… .Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.”
63. “Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.”
64. “Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.”
65. “Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.”
66. “Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.”
67. “Some people see the cup as half empty. Some people see the cup as half full. I see the cup as too large.”
68. “Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.”
69. “Sometimes a fireman will go to great strenuous lengths to save a raccoon that’s stuck in a drainpipe and then go out on the weekend and kill several of them for amusement.”
70. “Tell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.”
Knowledgable Sayings Pictures By George Carlin
71. “That’s why they call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
72. “The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.”
73. “The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.”
74. “The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”
75. “The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.”
76. “The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.”
77. “The reason I talk to myself is that I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
78. “The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.”
79. “There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.”
80. “There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.”
Deep Sayings Images From George Carlin
81. “There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.”
82. “The planet isn’t going anywhere. We are.”
83. “Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are stupider than that.”
84. “Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.”
85. “To my way of thinking, there is every bit as much evidence for the existence of UFOs as there is for the existence of God. Probably far more. At least in the case of UFOs there have been countless taped and filmed and, by the way, unexplained sightings from all over the world, along with documented radar evidence seen by experienced military and civilian radar operators.”
86. “We ought to have a diet salad dressing called ‘500 Islands.'”
87. “We will never be an advanced civilization as long as rain showers can delay the launching of a space rocket.”
88. “We’re having something different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing.”
89. “Weather forecast for tonight: dark.”
90. “When I ask how old your toddler is, I don’t need to hear ’27 months.’ ‘He’s two’ will do just fine. He’s not a cheese. And I didn’t really care in the first place.”
91. “When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?”
92. “You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.”
93. “Your home is your refuge.”
Suggested For You:
About Author
Shuvo
Hi there! I Am Shuvo Saha. I am a Musician. I play Bass. Besides that, I love to explore. As in, surf the web, gather knowledge, and share them. Recently, I have discovered that Blogging can be quite a useful way, to share. Being a thoughtful person, and a social being, I find it very amusing to explore people's thoughts, observations, and experiences. Regardless of time, place, situation, event, or occasion, it is in our human nature, to learn and express. Many of these expressions of life, result in taking the form of wishes, quotes, greetings, messages, and captions. I, with my lovely Wishian team, gather the expressions, sort them out, organize them with suitable background images, and serve them to you. So that you can share them back, with the whole world.
