TOP 70 Philosophical Sayings About Funny Relationship | Free Hd Background Images Download

Many famous people have shared their valuable thoughts about Funny Relationship which you will find here together. You may have heard these renowned quotes about Funny Relationship before. The people, whom these quotes came from also felt end experienced life like us and that’s why you will find similarities with your inner thoughts with them. After reading you will understand that their thoughts are quite as same as ours because they are also human and just like us. They belong to the same perspective of observing life as we do. So, what are you thinking? Discover the views of a person who feels the same way we do. You are scrolling through the most positive quotes and images about Funny Relationship that are wise and true to life. For you, we have created this collection that consists of Funny Relationship sayings coming from different sources of the internet.

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Notable Sayings Pictures On Funny Relationship

1. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” – Will Ferrell

2. “My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield

3. “Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with?” – Rita Rudner

4. “Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.” – Mae West

5. “Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.” – Carroll Bryant

6. “Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one.” – Benjamin Franklin

7. “I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.” – Steven Wright

8. “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” – Groucho Marx

9. “Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.” – Albert Einstein

10. “I don’t see how being married could be any worse than listening to you talk for twenty years, but that still ain’t much of a recommendation for it.” – Larry McMurtry

Top Quotes Pictures About Funny Relationship

11. “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” – Groucho Marx

12. “Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” – Frederick Ryder

13. “Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.” – Natasha Leggero

14. “An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.” – Agatha Christie

15. “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.” – Laurence J Peter

16. “The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders.” – Linda Festa

17. “Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.” – Richard Jeni

18. “I can’t make you love me. But I can fill my pantry with your favorite snacks and offer you a weekly stipend of $75.” – Rob Delaney

19. “Relationships are hard. It’s like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks’ notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp.” – Bob Ettinger

20. “It’s no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn’t even speak to each other if they met at a party.” – Nick Hornby

Motivational Sayings Images On Funny Relationship

21. “Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.” – Helen Rowland

22. “The only true love is love at first sight; second sight dispels it.” – Israel Zangwill

23. “My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.” – Emo Philips

24. “True love is singing karaoke Under Pressure and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part.” – Mindy Kaling

25. “If you text I love you to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back.” – Chelsea Peretti

26. “Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.” – Henny Youngman

27. “Save a boyfriend for a rainy day — and another, in case it doesn’t rain.” – Mae West

28. “Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” – Phyllis Diller

29. “The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prisons they let you play softball on the weekends.” – Agatha Christie

30. “I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner

Aesthetic Quotes Pictures About Funny Relationship

31. “There’s no easy way to break off any relationship. It’s like the mozzarella cheese on a good slice of pizza. No matter how far you pull the slice away from your mouth it just gets thinner and longer but never snaps.” – Jerry Seinfeld

32. “To symbolize out great relationship. I’d like you to have this framed x-ray.” – Pat Williams

33. “Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage-they’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry” – Rita Rudner

34. “By all means marry; of you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates

35. “Love is blind – marriage is the eye-opener” – Pauline Thomason

36. “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” – Shirley MacLaine

37. “My husband forgot my birthday and my anniversary. I didn’t feel bad. On the contrary. Give me a guilty husband any day. Some of my best outfits come from his guilt.” – Betty Walker

38. “I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.” – David Young

39. “If you want your wife to pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.” – David Young

40. “When a man and woman marry they become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.” – David Young

Inspiring Quotes Pictures On Funny Relationship

41. “Some women spend the first part of their lives looking for a husband, and the last part wondering where he is.” – David Young

42. “You know the honeymoon is over when the husband takes his wife off the pedestal and puts her on a budget.” – David Young

43. “When a husband brings his wife flowers for no reason, there’s a reason.” – Marian Jordan

44. “My husband says I treat him like he’s a god; every meal is a burnt offering.” – Rhonda Hansome

45. “My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can’t decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.” – Rita Rudner

46. “I figure when my husband comes home from work, if the kids are still alive, then I’ve done my job.” – Roseanne Barr

47. “The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.” – Ambrose Bierce

48. “My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.” – Mia Farrow

49. “An Ideal Husband Life is a near-death experience.” – George Carlin

50. “Failed relationships can be described as so mch wasted make-up.” – Marian Keyes

Popular Quotes Pictures On Funny Relationship

51. “You know you’re happily married, when you’d rather come home than go out.” – Heinz Ruhmann

52. “Marrying means to halve one’s rights and double one’s duties” – Arthur Schopenhauer

53. “Most women try to change a man and then they have changed him, they do not like them.” – Marlene Dietrich

54. “A happy marriage is where he’s a little bit blind, and she’s a little bit deaf.” – Loriot

55. “A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.” – Hugh Payne

56. “How do husbands sort their laundry? ‘Filthy’ and ‘Filthy but Wearable.'” – Hugh Payne

57. “The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.” – Hugh Payne

58. “Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would really have preferred.” – Hugh Payne

59. “Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law.” – Hugh Payne

60. “Honolulu: it’s got everything, Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife’s mother.” – Ken Dodd

Revolutionary Sayings Images On Funny Relationship

61. “The thing to remember is that in marriage the husband and wife are one – and the husband is the one.” – Helen Deutsch

62. “There are four sacred bonds in this life: A parent and child, a husband and wife, a priest and confessor… and manager-talent.” – Mitch Glazer

63. “There’s no such thing as a ‘perfect marriage’ or a ‘perfect spouse’. Come on, get real! Marriage is a flawed institution. if you but into that theory.” – Shobha Dé

64. “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” – Robert Quillen

65. “After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.” – Al Gore

66. “I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.” – Bill Clinton

67. “A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.” – Barack Obama

68. “When a husband and wife are concerned only about their own individual desires, the stage is set for conflict.” – Billy Graham

69. “Too many husbands and wives enter into marriage with the idea that their spouse exists for one purpose: to make them happy.” – Billy Graham

70. “Marriage is not a reform school..Instead of you reforming (your spouse), (he or she) will instead influenced you.” – Billy Graham

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