97+ Top Quotes On Funny Marriage | Free Hd Background Images Download
Many famous people have shared their valuable thoughts about Funny Marriage which you will find here together. You may have heard these renowned quotes about Funny Marriage before. The people, whom these quotes came from also felt end experienced life like us and that’s why you will find similarities with your inner thoughts with them. After reading you will understand that their thoughts are quite as same as ours because they are also human and just like us. They belong to the same perspective of observing life as we do. So, what are you thinking? Discover the views of a person who feels the same way we do. You are scrolling through the most positive quotes and images about Funny Marriage that are wise and true to life. For you, we have created this collection that consists of Funny Marriage sayings coming from different sources of the internet.
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Table of Contents
Revolutionary Sayings Images On Funny Marriage
1. “Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings … and lawyers.” – Richard Pryor
2. “Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” – Will Ferrell
3. “Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is the bicycle repair kit.” – Billy Connolly
4. “Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.” – Evelyn Hendrickson
5. “Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.” – Albert Einstein
6. “A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.” – Michel de Montaigne
7. “My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield
8. “All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.” – Raymond Hull
9. “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.” – Benjamin Franklin
10. “There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about.” – Oscar Wilde
Notable Sayings Pictures On Funny Marriage
11. “Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.” – Helen Rowland
12. “I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.” – Wendy Liebman
13. “Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the whole day.” – Mickey Rooney
14. “Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” – Jerry Seinfeld
15. “By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates
16. “In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.” – Woody Allen
17. “My wife and I tried to breakfast together, but we had to stop or our marriage would have been wrecked.” – Winston Churchill
18. “They say love is blind…and marriage is an institution. Well, I’m not ready for an institution for the blind just yet.” – Mae West
19. “My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food. She goes on tuesdays, I go Fridays.” – Henry Youngman
20. “Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join.” – Elbert Hubbard
Deep Sayings Images About Funny Marriage
21. “The only mistake for which people are congratulated is marriage.” – Ratna Deep
22. “When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that’s a few steps ahead is the one that’s mad.” – Helen Rowland
23. “Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock!” – Zeenat Essa
24. “Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.” – G. K. Chesterton
25. “More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.” – Doug Larson
26. “Marriage is when a man looses his bachelors degree and woman gets her masters degree.” – Rama Kochhar
27. “To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.” – Ogden Nash
28. “Before I got married I had six theories about raising children; now, I have six children and no theories.” – John Wilmot
29. “Marriage is like a deck of cards. All you need in the beginning is two hearts and a diamond. After 10 years you need a club and spade.” – Carrie
30. “The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.” – Groucho Marx
Revolutionary Sayings Pictures About Funny Marriage
31. “Marriage: sometimes soulmates, sometimes cellmates.” – Rory Elder
32. “Marriage is getting to have a sleep over with your best friend, every single night of the week.” – Christie Cook
33. “Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.” – Ogden Nash
34. “Marriage is a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops.” – Riaz Nassurally
35. “All my friends are getting married. I guess I’m just at that age where people give up.” – Amy Schumer
36. “Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!” – Prady
37. “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner
38. “There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.” – James Holt McGavran
39. “My husband and I married for better or worse!! He couldn’t have done better and I couldn’t have done worse!” – Rhonda
40. “Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.” – Mae West
Motivational Sayings Pictures On Funny Marriage
41. “The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast.” – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
42. “Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.” – Joey Adams
43. “Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot.” – Minnie Pearl
44. “Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.” – Clint Eastwood
45. “In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.” – Rita Rudner
46. “Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.” – George Bernard Shaw
47. “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” – Henry Youngman
48. “Marriage is a wonderful institution… but who wants to live in an institution?” – Groucho Marx
49. “They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake.” – Alexander Pope
50. “Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.” – Ambrose Bierce
Notable Sayings Images On Funny Marriage
51. “A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.” – Andre Maurois
52. “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” – Ann Bancroft
53. “Marriage – a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose.” – Beverley Nichols
54. “You know there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!” – Bill Maher
55. “An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband.” – Booth Tarkington
56. “For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end.” – Catherine Zeta-Jones
57. “The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then marry him.” – Cher
58. “What’s the best way to have your husband to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.” – Cindy Garner
59. “Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn’t even have when you were on your own.” – Eddie Cantor
60. “Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” – Erma Bombeck
Revolutionary Sayings Pictures On Funny Marriage
61. “Love is a lot like a backache; It doesn’t show up on X-Rays, but you know it’s there.” – George Burns
62. “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” – Groucho Marx
63. “In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.” – Helen Rowland
64. “My wife dresses to kill, she cooks the same way.” – Henry Youngman
65. “We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.” – Henry Youngman
66. “Marriage must incessantly contend with a monster that devours everything: familiarity.” – Honoré de Balzac
67. “Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.” – Isadora Duncan
68. “My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.” – Jack Benny
69. “Husbands and wives are so irritating. But without them, who would we blame for misplacing our socks?” – Janet Periat
70. “So Why do married people live longer than single people? I think it’s because married people make a special effort to outlive their partner – just so they can have the last word.” – Janet Periat
Best Sayings Images On Funny Marriage
71. “Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house.” – Jean Kerr
72. “My marriage is a continuous process of getting used to things I hadn’t expected. Before we got married, I caught her in my arms. Now I catch her in my pockets.” – Joginder Singh
73. “Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; Marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry the trash out.” – Joyce Brothers
74. “Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should just live next door and visit now and then.” – Katherine Hepburn
75. “Marriage is like vitamins: We supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.” – Kathy Mohnke
76. “If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.” – Lily Tomlin
77. “When you have a baby, love is automatic, when you get married, love is earned.” – Marie Osmond
78. “Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.” – Marilyn Monroe
79. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin
80. “If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; If you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love.” – Miles Davis
Philosophical Quotes Images On Funny Marriage
81. “When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there’s a reason.” – Molly McGee
82. “Whatever you look like, marry a man your own age; As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” – Phyllis Diller
83. “When a man opens the car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” – Prince Philip
84. “When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.” – Richard Lewis
85. “I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage – they’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.” – Rita Rudner
86. “If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.” – Sam Levenson
87. “If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.” – Sigmund Freud
88. “A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt.” – Spanish Proverb
89. “She is the only evidence of God I have seen, with the exception of the mysterious force that removes one sock from the dryer every time I do my laundry.” – St Elmo’s Fire
90. “Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.” – Stephen Leacock
Beautiful Quotes Pictures On Funny Marriage
91. “A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.” – Tim Allen
92. “A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.” – unknown
93. “Some mornings I wake up grouchy. Other mornings I just let him sleep.” – unknown
94. “Don’t make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbors ain’t.” – unknown
95. “Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park.” – unknown
96. “The most important four words for a successful marriage: I’ll do the dishes.” – unknown
97. “My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.” – Winston Churchill
98. “Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they do in planning the marriage.” – Zig Ziglar
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Shuvo
Hi there! I Am Shuvo Saha. I am a Musician. I play Bass. Besides that, I love to explore. As in, surf the web, gather knowledge, and share them. Recently, I have discovered that Blogging can be quite a useful way, to share. Being a thoughtful person, and a social being, I find it very amusing to explore people's thoughts, observations, and experiences. Regardless of time, place, situation, event, or occasion, it is in our human nature, to learn and express. Many of these expressions of life, result in taking the form of wishes, quotes, greetings, messages, and captions. I, with my lovely Wishian team, gather the expressions, sort them out, organize them with suitable background images, and serve them to you. So that you can share them back, with the whole world.
