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TOP 80 Top Quotes From Erma Bombeck | Free Hd Background Images Download

Here we have got some famous quotes and images with precious and wise words from the famous Erma Bombeck that you need to know. Maybe these famous thoughts from Erma Bombeck are already familiar to you. You will find the quotes being used everywhere, coming from ordinary people like us, who are just famous. Probably the reason behind the similarity with our thoughts with their deep words, they also went through and observed the same situations as us. They have been there where we are standing now. Why are you making late? Feel free to read out what famous people think and how they feel about life. Check out the truest, wisest, and most positive quotes and images from Erma Bombeck available. Being picked out from all over the internet, this collection of Erma Bombeck sayings is here only to serve you.

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Creative Quotes Pictures By Erma Bombeck

1. “A child develops individuality long before he develops taste. I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory, an empty bottle of gin.”

2. “A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat.”

3. “A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.”

4. “A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend and he’s a priest.”

5. “A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.”

6. “All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with white carpet is one of them.”

7. “Any mother with half a skull knows that when Daddy’s little boy becomes Mommy’s little boy, the kid is so wet he’s treading water.”

8. “Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.”

9. “Babies should enjoy the freedom to vocalize whether it be in church, a public meeting place, during a movie, or after hours when the lights are out. They have not yet learned that joy and laughter have to last a lifetime and must be conserved.”

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10. “Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.”

A Friend Doesnt Go On A Diet Because You Are Fat Quotes Images By Erma Bombeck
A Friend Doesnt Go On A Diet Because You Are Fat Quotes Images By Erma Bombeck

Notable Quotes Pictures From Erma Bombeck

11. “Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.”

12. “Cats invented self-esteem.”

13. “Children make your life important.”

14. “Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?”

15. “Dreams have only one owner at a time. That’s why dreamers are lonely.”

16. “Every puppy should have a boy.”

17. “For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it’s time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.”

18. “Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You’re not out of it until the computer says you’re out of it.”

19. “Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.”

20. “Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.”

Cats Invented Self-Esteem Quotes Images By Erma Bombeck
Cats Invented Self-Esteem Quotes Images By Erma Bombeck

Motivational Quotes Images From Erma Bombeck

21. “Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.”

22. “Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.”

23. “Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen? Three. It takes one to say ‘What light?’ and two more to say, ‘I didn’t turn it on.'”

24. “Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.”

25. “Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.”

26. “Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It’s unbridled, its unplanned, it’s full of surprises.”

27. “Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It’s literary suicide.”

28. “I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”

29. “I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill.”

30. “I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up in a sink shaped like a seashell.”

Children Make Your Life Important Quotes Images By Erma Bombeck
Children Make Your Life Important Quotes Images By Erma Bombeck

Inspirational Sayings Images From Erma Bombeck

31. “I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.”

32. “I loved you enough to let you stumble, fall, hurt, and fail.”

33. “I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: Checkout Time is 18 years.”

34. “If God had meant us to walk around naked, he would never have invented the wicker chair”

35. “If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.”

36. “If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.”

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37. “In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced on television.”

38. “It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.”

39. “It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.”

40. “It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line.”

Every Puppy Should Have A Boy Quotes Images By Erma Bombeck
Every Puppy Should Have A Boy Quotes Images By Erma Bombeck

Popular Quotes Pictures By Erma Bombeck

41. “It was Halloween that did me in, that single day when your children turn to you for imagination and creativity, the one day of the year when you must transcend fantasy.”

42. “It’s frightening to wake up one morning and discover that while you were asleep you went out of style.”

43. “Laugh now, cry later.”

44. “Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.”

45. “Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It’s the only thing real men do that doesn’t seem to threaten their masculinity. To women, it’s on the same domestic entry level as putting the spring back into the toilet-tissue holder or taking a chicken out of the freezer to thaw.”

46. “Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with the car battery.”

47. “My children refused to eat anything that hadn’t danced on TV.”

48. “My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.”

49. “My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first one being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.”

50. “My sister and I never engaged in sibling rivalry. Our parents weren’t that crazy about either one of us.”

Guilt The Gift That Keeps On Giving Quotes Images By Erma Bombeck
Guilt The Gift That Keeps On Giving Quotes Images By Erma Bombeck

Legendary Quotes Images By Erma Bombeck

51. “Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”

52. “Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.”

53. “Never have more children than you have car windows.”

54. “Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.”

55. “No doubt about it… every day in every way my game grows stronger. I saw one enthusiast the other day playing with his racket out of the press. I’ll have to try that.”

56. “No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.”

57. “On vacations. We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.”

58. “One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.”

59. “One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.”

60. “Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”

Housework If You Do It Right Will Kill You Quotes Images By Erma Bombeck
Housework If You Do It Right Will Kill You Quotes Images By Erma Bombeck

Revolutionary Quotes Images By Erma Bombeck

61. “Sex is only a three-letter word so how can it be dirty?”

62. “Shopping is a woman thing. It’s a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.”

63. “Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people’s children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.”

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64. “Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.”

65. “The advantage of having only one child is that you always know who did it.”

66. “The day of worship would be Monday, what else?”

67. “The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another’s desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.”

68. “The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.”

69. “There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.”

70. “Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain loving one another.”

Laugh Now Cry Later Quotes Images By Erma Bombeck
Laugh Now Cry Later Quotes Images By Erma Bombeck

Great Sayings Pictures By Erma Bombeck

71. “We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.”

72. “What if they mispronounce my last name and everyone laughs? What if my teacher doesn’t make her D’s like Mom taught me? What if I spend the whole day without a friend?”

73. “What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?”

74. “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, I used everything you gave me.”

75. “When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he’s doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.”

76. “When it comes to cooking, five years ago I felt guilty just adding water. Now I want to bang the tube against the countertop and have a five-course meal pop out. If it comes with plastic silverware and a plate that self-destructs, all the better.”

77. “When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.”

78. “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.”

79. “With boys, you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane.”

80. “You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4th, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.”

Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died Quotes Images By Erma Bombeck
Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died Quotes Images By Erma Bombeck
No One Ever Died From Sleeping In An Unmade Bed Quotes Images By Erma Bombeck
No One Ever Died From Sleeping In An Unmade Bed Quotes Images By Erma Bombeck
The Day Of Worship Would Be Monday What Else Quotes Images By Erma Bombeck
The Day Of Worship Would Be Monday What Else Quotes Images By Erma Bombeck