TOP 85 Creative Quotes By Dave Barry | Free Hd Wallpaper Pictures Download
The famous Dave Barry have shared many valuable thoughts about various things, which you will find here together. These famous sayings by Dave Barry are very popular. The people, whom these quotes came from also felt end experienced life like us and that’s why you will find similarities with your inner thoughts with them. Probably the reason behind the similarity with our thoughts with their deep words, they also went through and observed the same situations as us. You may find zero dissimilarity between our angle of observing life and theirs. There is nothing to think about anymore. Readout from the wise observations and feel what they have felt. Read the most positive quotes and images by Dave Barry that are gathered here from real-life wisdom. We are here to serve you with these Dave Barry sayings gathered from the internet for you only.
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Table of Contents
Aesthetic Quotes Pictures By Dave Barry
1. “A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.”
2. “Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.”
3. “And that’s the wonderful thing about family travel: it provides you with experiences that will remain locked forever in the scar tissue of your mind.”
4. “Another well-known Paris landmark is the Arc de Triomphe, a moving monument to the many brave women and men who have died trying to visit it.”
5. “As the father of a daughter, I wish I’d read this very funny book sooner, if only to know that it’s okay for a grown man to wear a tutu.”
6. “Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.”
7. “Avoid the traffic by using one of the park’s shuttle buses and view the elk rut with a park ranger.”
8. “By the eighties, a lot of radio stations had started playing sixties music. They called it Classic Rock, because they knew we’d be upset if they came right out and called it what it is, namely middle-aged-person nostalgia music.”
9. “Camping is nature’s way of promoting the motel business.”
10. “Canada, as you know, is a major important nation boasting a sophisticated, cosmopolitan culture that was tragically destroyed last week by beavers.”
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11. “Classical music gradually lost popularity because it is too complicated: you need twenty-five or thirty skilled musicians just to hum it properly. So people began to develop regular music.”
12. “Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way to kill it that does not involve nuclear weapons.”
13. “Dogs do not grasp the concept of house cleaning.”
14. “Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.”
15. “Each year, millions of skiers come to Colorado to experience its superb emergency medical facilities.”
16. “Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.”
17. “Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.”
18. “Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road.”
19. “For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.”
20. “Generally the pythons are better than anything else at killing.”
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21. “Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep.”
22. “Harvard University, according to the directory of the American Society of Colleges and Universities, is a ‘type of weevil.'”
23. “Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.”
24. “I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.”
25. “I hate rap music, which to me sounds like a bunch of angry men shouting, possibly because the person who was supposed to provide them with a melody never showed up.”
26. “I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty seven year olds who tried to learn snowboarding.”
27. “If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.”
28. “If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there is a man on base.”
29. “If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be meetings.”
30. “In college, Yuppies major in business administration. If to meet certain requirements they have to take a liberal arts course, they take Business poetry.”
Inspirational Quotes Pictures By Dave Barry
31. “In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season. Christians called it ‘Christmas’ and went to church. Jews called it ‘Hanukkah’ and went to synagogue. The atheists went to parties and drank.”
32. “It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.”
33. “It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.”
34. “Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can using only their hands and feet make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.”
35. “Like all writers, my greatest inspiration, my ultimate muse, is a deadline.”
36. “Lobsters displays all three of the classic biological characteristics of an insect, namely: 1. It has way more legs than necessary. 2. There is no way you would ever pet it. 3. It does not respond to simple commands such as Here, boy!”
37. “Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.”
38. “Mother Nature clearly intended for us to get our food from the patty group, which includes hamburgers, fish sticks, and McNuggets- foods that have had all of their organs safely removed.”
39. “My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of M&M’s and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.”
40. “My wife, like many women, actually LIKES wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness.”
Legendary Sayings Pictures By Dave Barry
41. “Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.”
42. “Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.”
43. “Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there’s a good chance that nobody is reading my column.”
44. “Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.”
45. “Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.”
46. “Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the holiday season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall.”
47. “Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.”
48. “Orangutan are very weird animals but they look very soulful.”
49. “People passing each other on the street would say would say ‘Merry Christmas!’ or ‘Happy Hanukkah!’ or to the atheists ‘Look out for the wall!’.”
50. “People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.”
Famous Sayings Images By Dave Barry
51. “Remember that the important thing is not what you give, or how you wrap it. The important thing, during this very special time of year, is that you save the receipt.”
52. “Remember: What dad really wants is a nap. Really.”
53. “San Francisco leads the world in the category of Most People On The Sidewalk Holding Conversations With Purely Imaginary Companions.”
54. “Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.”
55. “Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd.”
56. “Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.”
57. “Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough.”
58. “Software is usually accompanied by documentation in the form of big fat scary manuals that nobody ever reads. In fact, for the past five years most of the manuals shipped with software products have actually been copies of Stephen King’s The Stand with new covers pasted on.”
59. “Spiders so large they appear to be wearing the pelts of small mammals.”
60. “The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.”
Great Quotes Pictures By Dave Barry
61. “The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.”
62. “The Internet, transforming society and shaping the future through chat.”
63. “The best babysitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida.”
64. “The easiest way to make a fruit cake is to buy a darkish cake, then pound some old, hard fruit into it with a mallet. Be sure to wear safety glasses.”
65. “The government: What we can as citizens do to reform our tax system? As you know, under our three-branch system of government, the tax laws are created by Satan. But he works through the Congress, so that’s where we must focus our efforts.”
66. “The internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, people without lives. We don’t care. We have each other.”
67. “The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
68. “The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn’t have eyeballs or fins.”
69. “The problem with winter sports is that-follow me closely here-they generally take place in winter.”
70. “The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species.”
Deep Quotes Pictures From Dave Barry
71. “The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.”
72. “There is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.”
73. “There is nothing as relaxing as being out on the open sea, listening to the waves and the wind and the sails and voices downstairs yelling HOW DO YOU FLUSH THESE TOILETS?”
74. “To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.”
75. “Today, it is easier to get divorced in most states than to get a transmission repaired properly.”
76. “Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spiderwebs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests”
77. “Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around.”
78. “We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires.”
79. “We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.”
80. “What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.”
Inspiring Sayings Images By Dave Barry
81. “Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”
82. “You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”
83. “You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, My God, you’re RIGHT! I NEVER would’ve thought of that!'”
84. “You should be prepared for anything during divorce proceedings, even the truth.”
85. “You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.”
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Shuvo
Hi there! I Am Shuvo Saha. I am a Musician. I play Bass. Besides that, I love to explore. As in, surf the web, gather knowledge, and share them. Recently, I have discovered that Blogging can be quite a useful way, to share. Being a thoughtful person, and a social being, I find it very amusing to explore people's thoughts, observations, and experiences. Regardless of time, place, situation, event, or occasion, it is in our human nature, to learn and express. Many of these expressions of life, result in taking the form of wishes, quotes, greetings, messages, and captions. I, with my lovely Wishian team, gather the expressions, sort them out, organize them with suitable background images, and serve them to you. So that you can share them back, with the whole world.
